Elite Culture Stories

After 31 years in consulting, you’d think I’d be immune to conflict—but even now, it still finds creative ways to show up. Just last week, I was in a meeting with a lean team of five consultants, finalizing a team-building program I had co-designed for a client’s Refreshed Values event. I was the Lead Facilitator, brought in by the Senior Engagement Manager, and we had been working overtime to adjust the design based on the client’s shifting requests. We were all set—until, mid-presentation, one Consultant piped up and challenged the need for an energizer activity, asking, “Wouldn’t the client find this... unnecessary?” He didn’t stop there. More critiques came, wrapped in corporate lingo that felt like it belonged in a classroom lecture rather than a high-energy team-building session.

Now, full honesty—my gut reaction? Defensive. Irritated. Maybe a little “Who does this guy think he is?” But instead of letting my emotions go on overdrive, I took a deep breath (the kind where you silently remind your face to behave) and did what I train others to do: I looked for the WHY. What was really behind this conflict?

I realized he wasn’t trying to derail the program—he just wanted to be heard. It was his first time to be part of this type of activity, and he needed to feel like his input mattered. That moment reminded me how often conflict isn’t really about the what, but the why. So I listened, acknowledged what made sense, calmly explained the rationale behind our choices, and invited useful ideas from the rest of the team. No drama. No defensiveness. Just good, honest communication.

And you know what? The program was a hit. All 150 participants—including the CEO and her children in leadership—were fully engaged and kept coming back to say thank you. Even the Consultant who challenged me had a complete turnaround, later admitting it was his first team-building event ever and that he learned something new.

What I learned (again) is this: when conflict shows up, it’s rarely about ego—it’s about unmet needs. And if we pause long enough to find the WHY, resolution becomes less about winning and more about building better teams.

I've been a makeup artist for almost nine years now, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's this: no training ever truly prepares you for the real-world chaos. The most important lessons come when you're under pressure, juggling brushes, clients, and time.

One particular day stands out.

I had multiple clients booked—including not one, but two VIPs. Both were expecting me at peak hours, both were important, and both wanted me personally. Against my better judgment, I said yes to both.

I didn’t factor in one crucial detail… travel time.

The traffic that day was brutal, and despite our best efforts, I arrived late to the second client’s location. It was a tough moment—I was embarrassed, flustered, and disappointed in myself. But instead of giving in to the pressure, I chose to rise above it.

My team and I quickly regrouped and crafted a game plan—a glam look that was both stunning and time-efficient. Every brush stroke had to count.

By the time we finished, she looked radiant. To my surprise, she was still smiling. She appreciated the effort and even thanked me for staying calm and professional under pressure.

Since that day, I make it a point to always arrive early, especially for her. She’s now one of my most loyal and supportive clients.

That experience taught me something priceless: Mistakes don’t define you—how you respond to them does.

In this business, and in life, grace under pressure is everything.

When I think about the lessons I’ve gained from BNI, one experience stands out—not because it was ideal, but because it shaped how I approach relationships in business.

It happened a couple of years into my BNI journey. One afternoon, I got a call from a member of another chapter whom I hadn’t met before. She was in a rush—her husband urgently needed a flight home the next day, and she asked if I could help arrange the booking. I was happy to support a fellow member and got to work immediately.

As with any transaction, I asked for payment before issuing the ticket. She gave me a post-dated check, and I trusted that all would be in order. But when I deposited it the following week, the check bounced.

At first, I was disappointed—not just by the outcome, but because I had acted on trust alone, without taking time to establish a relationship or verify the basics. It wasn’t the BNI experience I expected—but in hindsight, it gave me one of the most important takeaways of my journey.

BNI is built on Givers Gain, and we often assume that fellow members operate with the same values. But as with any professional network, it’s essential to approach every connection with clarity, communication, and care. Trust isn’t automatic—it’s something we earn through consistent 121s, shared values, and mutual accountability.

That moment reminded me to uphold the same standards within BNI that I do with all my clients: clear terms, good documentation, and professional boundaries. It’s not about being skeptical—it’s about being responsible. And over time, I’ve come to see that the strongest relationships in BNI are the ones built slowly, with intention and mutual respect.

This is what makes BNI so powerful—not just the referrals, but the growth we gain along the way. Every interaction is an opportunity to learn, to refine how we do business, and to become the kind of professional others trust without hesitation.